Wake of Echoes

Dear Hiring Manager: This is  Autism Awareness Month , and one of the areas where "awareness" is most lacking is probably in your human resources department. If you have spent any time at all interviewing candidates for positions at your company, you have encountered some with autism. You might have seen them come and go without even knowing that AUTISM was the reason they talked a little different, struggled with their words or failed to look you in the eye. Why am I so sure you have already interviewed someone with autism? Because roughly one percent of the population has autism . Most of those, you probably rejected immediately. In fact, employment rates for people with autism -- even autistic  college graduates -- is discouragingly  low . Lower than those in any other disabled group.   And yet, research also shows that people on the autism spectrum make great employees . They are honest, dedicated and punctual. In addition, many autistic people have...

“Music expresses that which cannot be said, and on which it is impossible to be silent. ” – Victor Hugo We all find ways of coping with the challenges of Spectrum life.  I run, I write.  I pray a lot.  Music is also pretty high on my list. When the love I feel for my children  – the joy, the fears, the admiration, the protectiveness – builds up inside me to the point that it is inexpressible with mere words, I turn to music.  Maybe it’s a sad song that mirrors my fears, or a rousing anthem that spurs me toward my next goal.  Maybe it's one of those angry songs that rails at the inequities in life.  But if a song grabs my heart, it's because it has expressed something that mere words cannot. These are those songs – it’s my Au-some Autism Playlist.  While they don’t all, word for word, match every emotion I have felt during the past six years since we were diagnosed, they do represent a nice spectrum of feelings that, to me, represe...

What’s wrong with this desk? If you are quickly finding room for ascetic improvements, back up a minute.  I’m asking a simpler question:  If you need to take a test and you walk into a classroom full of these desks, are you going to pull out your #2 pencil or are you going to tell the instructor you have a problem? Roughly ten percent of us are going to ask for a different desk – the one in the picture does not work with our neurology. No worries, right?  Left-handedness is no big deal.  Schools usually have accommodations for Lefties – many desks are universal these days.  Sure, we’re going to leave the test with a big smear of lead across the side of our hands, but no one is going to point at us, stare at us or whisper about our neuro-differences. But that wasn’t always the case.  It was not so long ago that Lefties were treated severely by educators and even parents until they “learned” to use the “correct” hand.  My grandmother w...

“I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk.  I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out,  so I would just scream.”  —Temple Grandin How can you be heard if you can't speak?  How can you tell your story if people don't understand your language?  How will the neurotypical world know what living on the spectrum is really like from day to day, if we don't show them? From the day my son was diagnosed with Autism, one of my biggest concerns was whether people would take the time to understand him.  So when C hicken Soup for the Soul announced last year that they were publishing a book of personal stories about kids with Autism and Asperger's, I knew I wanted to be part of it. CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: Raising Kids on the Spectrum hits bookstore shelves today, marking the sixth annual World Autism Awareness Day and the beginning of Autism Awareness Month.  My story, "The Art of Hope," can be found o...

Last week, I prepared my third blog post for Autism Awareness Month.  I wrote it, edited it, let it marinate and edited it again.  But I never posted it. I wrote about my frustrations with the way the media handles autism.  My position was that journalists – mostly fed by corporate and not-for-profit press releases – are not properly focused when reporting on the spectrum community.  In part, I wrote: That’s where the negative perspective is born:  a perfect marriage between two industries mostly concerned with their own survival.  While those writing press releases and newspaper articles try to justify their own existence, the only people putting the child first are those living on the spectrum every day… You can’t avoid the message the media are selling, which has included the following suggestions: Vaccines cause autism No it’s the environment Kids aren’t being diagnosed early enough Early diagnosis isn’t enough Autism is a growing epid...

Words are powerful.  They hurt or heal.  They tear down or build up. As part of Autism Awareness Month, I want to focus on ten words that are not about what you say, but about what you can do to make awareness personal and meaningful in the life of a child. If you know a child or teenager with Autism, you CAN do more than simply be aware.  You can put into practice these ten words: 1.                    Wait.   It may take longer than you like for someone with autism to answer a question, tie a shoe lace, complete a chore.  By waiting patiently, you tell that child that they can trust you:  that you will not rush them, make impatient noises or expect them to do what they cannot. 2.                    Listen.   If someone with Autism has something to say, listen....

Today is World Autism Awareness Day.  It’s a special day.  It’s like every other day. Paradox, contradictory truths, counterparts.  There are many in my life.  I bet you could say the same.  Consider this: ·          Autism is something to worry about.  Autism is something to celebrate. ·          People with autism often see the world in “black and white.”  People with autism often see a spectrum of complexity in the world that we who are neuro-typical miss. ·          People on the spectrum need to be taught how to engage with society.  Society needs to be taught how to engage with people on the spectrum. ·          My child with autism needs attention that my typical child does not.  My typical child needs attention that my child with autism does not. ·     ...

She’s eleven years old and she’s already my hero. She’s not on the spectrum, but she’s anything but typical. With a heart of compassion and a fiery, stubborn temper, she burst into our lives like every color of the rainbow. As she grows, her quirky mirth continues to bubble over, infecting us all -- especially her brother. Whether he’s mired in anxiety or sorrow, anger or guilt, she can pull him free -- sometimes with love and sympathy; sometimes with sass and attitude. She doesn’t overthink it, like I do. No hand wringing, no furrowed brow. Her hand might be on her hip; she may be crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue.  Whatever she’s doing, she doesn’t pull her punches. And it works: one way or another. Whether he’s pulled from his darker thoughts to laugh and engage or only to holler, “MOM! Tell her to stop!” I can’t help but feel immense gratitude. She teaches me how to cope, how best to react. And she’s only a little girl.   When she wa...

“Wash your hands for dinner!” Drew comes toward the sink and then takes a step back. “Mom.  I can’t.” I look at the faucet, covered in soap suds. “Hang on,” I say, liberally dousing it with water until the bubbles are completely gone.  “There you go.” He steps up to the sink and washes his hands. Bubbles.  He can’t even stand the word.  The sight of them makes his stomach twist.  He forces himself to tolerate hand soap, but prefers hand sanitizers that don’t create suds.  I shudder to think about how he washes his hair – or doesn’t.  There was a time when I would have tried to understand – tried to rationalize it for him.  They’re just bubbles.  He likes clean things – what’s cleaner than a soap bubble? I don’t do that anymore.  I’ve learned that sometimes it’s best to jump on the spectrum with him. How can I say that?   Isn’t drawing him toward a typical life view the best thing for a kid who’s so “high” on the spectrum tha...