Wake of Echoes

   I stop and start. I type words and delete them all. Words usually matter, but not this week. A child has died and there are no words that will make it untrue.    Tears fall. Days pass and I feel unworthy to shed them. I didn’t really know her. That wasn’t my privilege. Pain is real, God reminds me, even when it has nothing to do with me.    So even though I have no right to mourn, I do not fight my sorrow. I hope it is a result of prayer – that God is easing rightful grief by placing some of it on me.    But platitudes are meaningless. Flowers can’t be spared for language; they are needed for her grave.   She is a light returned to God, but her parents are still here, feeling everything and nothing all at once.  Numbness gives way, sleep is impossible.  When it finally shrouds, it bursts with nightmares – none worse than the reality morning brings. Nourishment seems pointless; when finally taken, it’s swallowed with guilt.    Life should end, but it doesn’t. Breath should

There’s a mesquite tree on the west side of I-10 halfway between Phoenix and Tucson that I will never forget.   We bonded several years ago – I left my mark on him, and he left his on me.   But our brief encounter was not the most memorable part of that day – that came much later under a desert sky when my favorite singer returned to the stage after a stunning performance and played an encore just for me. It was Mother’s Day, May 9, 2004, and my husband and I decide to pass on the tortuous three-hour wait outside Olive Garden for a mediocre lunch and a wilted pink carnation.  We had bigger plans.  We were going to Tucson to see Josh Groban in concert. After dropping the kids off with the in-laws in Sun City, we high-tailed it out of Phoenix, stopping only for a quick bite at In-N-Out on the edge of town.  Thirty minutes later, I was sucking air through my straw, rattling ice in the bottom of my cup and staring at a long line of red tail lights in front of us.   Sunday

Tickets for Josh Groban's STRAIGHT TO YOU tour go on sale today in much of the country.  I have to wait until tomorrow to buy mine -- and I have to drive to Portland  to see him (Why not Boise, Josh? WHY? )  If you want to see Josh on a stage near you, go here:   http://www.joshgroban.com/splash/ .  If you want to know about Josh's latest album,  ILLUMINATIONS , here's my review: Once again, Josh creates an album that exceeds my expectations.  And if you know me, you know they were pretty high.  Josh refuses to remain in even the rut of success, but pushes to remain fresh and vibrant, offering something new and yet familiar.  Illuminations is honest, vulnerable, bold, fun and gut wrenching.  His voice is tonally perfect, his writing better than ever and finger work too good to be left to the background.  Illuminations makes me remember that my heart has an ooey-gooey core. THE WANDERING KIND           Really unexpected first song, musically and, um, lyrically?  (